The past few weeks here in St. Louis have been b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l (except for two days where it was 25 degrees and snowed 3"). As such we have been going to the zoo every other day. Literally. It is such a great (and free) place to let the babes loose to run and climb. They LOVE animals! I think they can pretty much make the sound of every recognizable animal from the lions to the bees. Those that don't have sounds we sign- hippos, butterflies, etc. It is incredible that they can translate animals from books into the real deal...I am soo enjoying seeing the world through their eyes lately!

One of their favorite things at the zoo...a jungle car. Go figure.

Remember how last week I posted about Spring...apparently Spring has not sprung here in the STL

Sometimes I let the dog lick our floors until they shine. I often encourage it.

I let my daughter eat things off the ground- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

When we are sick we use one kleenex on both noses.

I have taken to hairspraying my son's hair. Gotta look good to play good.

Sometimes I have conversations with my children in public places and people look at me funny. My children DO have an opinion on TARP they just respond to me in code so you don't understand.

Sometimes I put my children to bed early- not because they're ready but because I am.

On occasion I have tried multiple outfits on my daughter before leaving the house- two year olds want to look cute too.

Every once and awhile I'll escape to the bathroom. My husband thinks I'm pooping but really I'm sitting on the side of the tub catching up on the latest magazines- baby free.

I bribe my children. Often.

I look forward to the nights my husband is on call so I can drink wine and watch TV all by myself. Alone. No one around. No talking. Just me, alcohol, and Tyra Banks.

Homemade to me means that it came out of multiple packages and was smooshed together to form a meal.

In our house we rarely get dressed before 10am.

Last week I was dating and this week I'm cheating.

His name is Tyler. He played baseball in college and has one of those, well, nice baseball bodies. He has a shaved head. He blushes easily. Very easily. He is a personal trainer. He is my personal trainer. Well, he was until my fundage ran out. Which is why I'm cheating.

Brian told me I could not under any circumstances pay $99 to work out with someone- let alone a baseball body. I did anyways. I lied. I lied and you know what, I enjoyed every single second of my three one hour sessions. (Almost guilt free). It is one of the very first times I have ever kept a secret from my husband. Ever. I tell him everything. Everything except that I was working out with Tyler.

I have lost five pounds in the past two weeks. I learned so many great moves. Baseball Tyler tried to convince me to buy more sessions. After you pay $99 the price tag goes up. Go figure. If you want to see Tyler 8 more times you must pay $299. That seems like an awful steep increase to me. I cannot lie about $299. Goodbye Tyler. Hello awesome triceps and very mad husband.

Why can't anything just be simple. Easy. No problems. Straightforward. I'm not sure if it's this house or having twins or if somewhere over the past year things in this world just got complicated.

I had three projects for the day. Just three. Nothing overly ambitious. Small, relatively straightforward do it yourself projects.

1) Connect the sink in the main floor bathroom
2) Buy and install a roof for our swingset
3) Install the babies' shower rod so I can finally iron and put up the curtain

Two of the three projects needed the Depot. One required nothing more (or so I thought) than a drill and some provided hardware. To HD we went. We purchased two water supply lines of the 12" variety, one washer, and one swing set canopy kit. Fifteen minutes later we were home and I was on to project one.

I screwed on the water lines without a hitch. I fitted the P-trap with the washer no problem. Then I discovered that my PVC piping did not reach the wall. Awesome. There would be no brushing my teeth downstairs after all. But then there was another problem. As I tried to shut the drawer I discovered that my 12" supply lines got in the way of it closing properly, i.e. it now stuck out three inches. This could not be more annoying. I now needed new pipes and a smaller supply line of which they do not sell at Home Depot or Lowe's so I would now need to go to our local plumbing supply which a) is super expensive and b) is super un-kid friendly. Notice the drawer stick out and the pipes oh so close but not quite making it to the wall...


On to project number two. It is a beautiful day here in STL so we got our shoes on and headed outside to de-ghettofy the swingset. I unfolded the hunter green roof we had picked out, started attaching the right bit to the drill when I looked up and noticed that our swingset has no cross beam. WHY?! Why did this have to be so difficult! Not only is it missing the top cross beam but the one on the right hand side as well. Now I would have to have to go back to Home Depot to have 2x4s cut and purchase the proper hardware as well as a new bit for the drill...and here I thought my green roof for $29.95 would be a straightforward cheap little project. Of course not.

Hoping that all was not lost I tried to accomplish project number three before naptime. As P turned on and off the bath water below me, I measured and leveled and perfected my placement of the curved shower rod. I got out the 1/8" drill bit and started. Problem (at this point you're all thinking why didn't I just give up already) the drill won't drill more than 1/4 of an inch into what I thought was just drywall in THREE of the FOUR holes. No big deal I thought. I'll use one of the provided mollys and use three of my own. I must have something that will work. I pulled out all of our screws and nails and odds and ends and nothing. Nothing in our whole house will fit into the holes I drilled into the wall while also fitting through the impossibly small holes in the rod. I now have to head to aisle 12 (pathetic I know) at HD and find something that will. Which entails bringing the entire shower rod into the store because the problem is that I have screws that will fit the holes in the wall but not through the holes in the rod.


It appears we will be making another trip to Home Depot in the immediate future. I need a sink. And a shower curtain. Oh, and there's that swingset. Why can't anything be easy?!

I did it. I joined the social networking extravaganza known to all (but me) as Facebook. It is really confusing. I officially have friends. Well, I am guessing they are my 'friend' because they did hit accept (which is a very strange concept if you think about it- which I am trying not to do because, hey, now I am a card carrying member of this shenanegan so I can no longer knock it publicly).

So I signed up, I got friends, and then I got very very very confused. I'm not sure at all how this thing works. There are 'walls' and 'pokes' and I don't get how to make it say "Brooke Kirchner Meek is..." What is the difference between writing that and something to someone? Oh, and there are the networks. I want my thingy to say Michigan Alum but I don't know how. I thought I knew how but then it asked for my U of M email. What?!

Then there is the privacy issue. I don't want anyone to see me but when I went to the privacy settings it was four pages long- how in the world am I supposed to know what to have say 'yes' and what to have say 'no.' Do they make tutors for this? Mary can you come help me?

Signing up for this was supposed to make me feel more with it, hipper, cooler, you know, like someone that has a ton of 'friends.' Instead it is making me feel frustratingly old. Very old with 22 friends.

I have mentioned on occasion that we love dips- ketchup, ranch, BBQ. Fin eats sauces by the spoonful. Literally. So it should come as no surprise that when my darlings saw open latex paint they assumed they had found the mother of all dips...


This is why renovations and toddlers do NOT mix. I should add, however, that Fin really enjoyed her Thin Mint (yes, those are Thin Mints swimming in the blue and green) with paint. I had to wrestle it out of her mouth. I should have known to be hyper vigilant when, during our first renovation projects over the summer, Parker found the bucket of drywall mud while in his walker and I found him eating it by the handful...mmm.

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POSTSCRIPT: The paint cans were open to let them dry out so I can put them on my curb (this is the proper disposal method, or so I've read). The paint was in a very tall (or not tall enough) cardboard box on our back porch that I thought was impossible for little hands to reach. We were putting on shoes when I realized I forgot our milk cups. I was gone for 2.2 seconds when the dippage occurred. No, I do not leave my children unattended with gallons of latex paint and cookies. Promise.

Perhaps my memory is failing me, however, I remember toys being of much better quality whilst I was growing up. Toys now are just plain janky (in this house that totally qualifies as a word). I'm not talking about the homemade wooden variety. It's the plastic name brand genre I am referring to. Maybe that's my problem. We bought a Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head over the weekend and there is just no getting around how cheap they are. Some of the holes are too big for the pegs so eyeballs and arms just fall right out. Others are too small. Good luck getting the Mr.'s ears in. Hard for me, impossible for an 18 month old. And don't even get me started on the trap door rear end...

As Potato Head is near impossible to play with we have taken to just using the parts on ourselves. Ears in our ears, noses up our noses, etc. It's more fun this way.

Who knew this would be the room I finished next (ok, so I still need to find a mirror and our sink isn't hooked up yet and we're lacking accessories but...)- the main floor bathroom.

We've had a tough week...I'll spare you the details about our marble floor that has been put down twice (and paid for twice) and my laryngitis and my husband leaving our camera on top of our car only to hear it fly off on the highway (luckily I was able to rescue it and miraculously it still works) and spring forward really killing our schedule and, well the list of wrongs over the past four days could go on forever...these pics of P are making it all better. He looks like a little man! Parker, when did you get so big!

He insisted on walking the dog all by himself...


And then walking the THREE blocks to the park all by himself...

I should know this mantra. So this morning when we were outside vacuuming out my car I should have known not to leave the keys in it while the babes climbed over the seats. I should have known not to close one door before opening another. I should have been prepared for my son pressing the lock button as I circled around the back to open another.

It is 75 degrees outside and it took the police nearly 20 minutes to arrive. It took another 15 minutes for the locksmith to arrive. It took him another 10 minutes to get the door open. As P sat inside playing with the blinkers I watched as his little head became drenched in sweat. I think this is heart attack number four million and twenty eight that my son has brought on...

After this debacle you would think my day would have no where to go but up. You are wrong. I dropped the babes off at my Aunt's for the day so they would be out of the house when the floor was being refinished. I had intended on spending the afternoon on my backsplash and then packing my bags to stay over at my mom's for the evening. My main floor bathroom is out of commission as the tiles are being reglazed and, as I mentioned, the upstairs floors are being refinished. Just as the floor people left I realized I really had to pee. It was about the same time I realized I have no bathroom. This was also the same time I realized I had a dinner date and was spending the night at my mom's house and COULD NOT GET ANYTHING OUT OF MY UPSTAIRS BATHROOM FOR TWO DAYS! No makeup, no face soap, no lotion, no nothing!

So here I am...peeing in a bowl, makeup free, in my pajamas waiting for my babes to wake up from their nap so I can go and get them and head to Walgreen's. Get it together Brooke.

As moms we are on a constant quest to find others just like us. Women with the same aged children who share our hobbies, our passions, and our mothering style...We seek out these hidden gems on the playground, at the park, Gymboree, gymnastics classes, mom's groups, even at the grocery store. Our children gravitate to others the same age and we pray as we search for the mother in question that she will be 'normal' - or at least enough so to tolerate while the babes play with one another. Just as in dating, an awkward conversation often ensues...'How old is your child?' 'Are you from here?' 'Those are such cute...they have on.' Unlike dating there is no alcohol to ease the sometimes uncomfortable silences or strange turns the conversation can take. Once I met a woman who insisted on telling me why she was at the park with her children and not her nanny. Apparently the nanny was having surgery. Hmmm.... The good news is that we have our children as a way to excuse ourselves...'Oh, you want to swing now sweetie?' as we make a beeline far far away from the offender.

Other times the individual is just too much to take in. Ever 'play' with a hoverer?' You know the type. Or a hitter that never gets corrected by mom? What about whiners? They are the worst...

Every once in awhile you hit the jackpot. The mom is 'the one.' You know this because conversation moves quickly from children to our own hobbies, Cardinals games, yoga, theater, celebrity gossip. You know, whatever your thing happens to be. You ask for her information. You get the digits. Now once again, just as in dating, there are rules to follow. You have finally found her and you don't want to scare her off by calling too soon. What if she wasn't as into you as you were to her? You wait a couple of days.

What will you suggest for a playdate? You don't want to make it too great (i.e. a first date with a 7course meal and a $200 bottle of wine) because then the relationship has no where to go but downhill from there. You could have them to your house to play but then you have to clean.

What will you serve as a snack? You can't be too over the top. I mean, vegan/organic/locally grown/soy-dairy-peanut-treenut free is fine and all but a little over the top for your first go round and pre-packaged rice krispy treats are definitely off the list (one of the babes faves right now)- too much sugar. You don't want to be that mom- the sugar mom.

So assuming it all goes well you have officially entered into a dating relationship. You are a dating mom. You are a mom dating other moms and their children. You must court them and keep them. Break ups are tough. Bump-ins with an ex is even tougher.

And you thought that when you walked down that rose strewn aisle wearing your white satin gown you were done with all this. HA! No no my friends. The dating game begins again...

I often bite off more than I can chew. It's a small problem I have. I love chaos. Having twins was not possibility, it was a foregone conclusion. God knew that I would be bored with just one toddler to chase. He knew I needed two to keep me on my toes, to keep it interesting. He knew I needed twins while planning a wedding and finishing the last year of my master's...He knew I could handle it. No. He knew I would thrive.


But sometimes, just sometimes, I take on a little more than I can handle.

When DC baby left in the middle of December (I am in awe of anyone who takes care of others' children. It is A LOT of work!), the holidays kept us busy. The holidays came and went and lunch dates and mommy stuff seemed to be getting a little mundane...soooo what did I do but decide to tear my house apart. Again.

This morning I stripped the stairs in preparation for the refinishers coming on Friday. The tile guy came to clean and prep the tiles for tomorrow's reglazing. Last night we scooped the water out of the toilet and lugged it to the basement (the toilet, not the water). Our kitchen has half way finished trim. I was planning on painting the upstairs bathroom during naptime but I just can't get motivated. I refinished the bench in my family room. I don't like it. I'm planning on re-refinishing it this evening. Last night we hung the tv on the wall. I have over 70 square feet of two different types of tile in my car that is currently at the shop- oh yes, all of this and I have no car. I have spent the last two naps watching tile installation video because I am convinced I can put in our backsplash and new floor. Have I mentioned the raised beds in the vegetable garden? Or the wallpaper project? I am getting tired just writing this paragraph.

I have taken on too many projects and have made too many plans. Why do I do this to myself? Aren't we moving in three years? Speaking of moving, have you looked at houses lately?! There are so many incredible buys...Four bedrooms in WG in our price range?! I almost (just for a milisecond) want to move again...

I pray that my children do NOT inherit this crazy desire for crazy of mine...

I have broken my Lenten promise. I have broken it four times. It is only the sixth day of lent.

I had a turkey sandwich for lunch on Wednesday. Then again on Friday.

Mass was at 7 pm on Wednesday night and not that I'm making excuses but if I was I would tell you that 7pm is exactly the time our babes are getting all pj'd up and ready for their bedtime stories. An hour of church at bedtime was simply not in the cards.

On a positive note we did attend our church's fish fry Wednesday night. We met our priest, Father Dolan, who seems like a wonderful man. We also met one of our neighbors who very politely invited Brian to a men's church retreat. The look on B's face was almost too much- it was all I could do not to bust at the seams with uproarious laughter. Brian at a church retreat?! My wonderful husband just isn't the type, if you know what I mean. While I'm trying to make a Catholic out of him, God just isn't his thing. Faith, believing, creationism, the Holy Spirit, it's all just a little much for my scientifically minded hubby...

I digress. Back to me being a bad Catholic. Oh yes, we also did not attend mass on Sunday. Strike four. You see, B was at the hospital rounding and I was alone. There is no daycare drop off so it was to be me and two 19 month olds in a pew for an hour. To be honest God, I just didn't think I could handle it. Forgive me?

I will not eat meat on Friday and I will go to church on Sunday. I promise.