Sometimes I let the dog lick our floors until they shine. I often encourage it.

I let my daughter eat things off the ground- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

When we are sick we use one kleenex on both noses.

I have taken to hairspraying my son's hair. Gotta look good to play good.

Sometimes I have conversations with my children in public places and people look at me funny. My children DO have an opinion on TARP they just respond to me in code so you don't understand.

Sometimes I put my children to bed early- not because they're ready but because I am.

On occasion I have tried multiple outfits on my daughter before leaving the house- two year olds want to look cute too.

Every once and awhile I'll escape to the bathroom. My husband thinks I'm pooping but really I'm sitting on the side of the tub catching up on the latest magazines- baby free.

I bribe my children. Often.

I look forward to the nights my husband is on call so I can drink wine and watch TV all by myself. Alone. No one around. No talking. Just me, alcohol, and Tyra Banks.

Homemade to me means that it came out of multiple packages and was smooshed together to form a meal.

In our house we rarely get dressed before 10am.