A wish: two of me

Posted by Brooke* at Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I have fleeting moments of insane jealousy for all those mothers out there with just ONE beautiful infant...just one to rock and sing to, just one to hold for hours after a boo boo, just one to snuggle with on the couch. Last night Brian was on-call and I had TWO beautiful babies needing rocking and singing, needing holding, needing snuggling. Fin had a mid-bath meltdown and I couldn't JUST focus on her like I wanted to, needed to. There was another body to dry off, to lotion, to diaper, to dress- the whole while Fin standing there looking so pathetic with huge tears streaming down her face. Every time I would pick her up she would melt into me, squeezing me tight as if to say, 'don't put me down again mom. I need you to hold me until I fall asleep.' Then Parker would lose it. Half dressed, he would look up with big wet eyes, 'hold me too mom!' They are too big now to snuggle and rock them both to sleep at the same time...what do I do? Who do I let down? Fin's need won out to Parker's jealousy last night. But as I rocked her to sleep with Parker standing up in his crib looking on I couldn't help but wish there were two of me to hold them both. I suppose we'll grapple with these situations for the rest of our lives- whose game to attend, whose graduation to go to (heaven forbid they fall on the same weekend), who to pick up when they both fall and there is only one set of arms to run to. In those moments we have to choose I wish more than anything there could be two of me...just for that moment as not to let anyone down- I can't handle the disappointment in their little faces when I do.

 

4 Comments:

  1. LauraC said...
    12.11.08  
    I think that feeling continues, so I think of these times as practice for the big ones. Even last night, Nate fell in the bath and hurt his face. He was scared and as I comforted him, Alex wanted a hug too.

    You just get better at hugging more than one kid at a time! And dealing with both their needs at the same time.
    Kelly Fleming said...
    12.11.08  
    Brooke-I think that you do a phenomenal job with both of your kiddos-and that is in the little that I have gotten to witness!!!-I admire the job that you do-seriously! Your post totally got my teary eyed :)Your a super mom and don't let yourself forget it :)
    Mimi Meek said...
    12.11.08  
    Your post brought tears to my eyes...this feeling never goes away and only grows over time. You always want to be there for each kid, daughter-in-law and grandchild when they need you and many times I'd like to quadruple myself and transport myself across time and miles to be there for the ones I love so much. All part of life I guess, to be the one in the crib watching and sucking it up while someone more in need is comforted. Good learning for Mr. Parker and for us all.
    Bert Bell said...
    13.11.08  
    Awww, I could just picture their cute little faces. I don't know you personally, got on this blog via Papaw Ted, but like the others before me I have to say you are doing an awesome job with these 2 beautiful children. I think they are smart enough to know that you only have 2 arms and can only hold one at a time. They know they are both equally loved by you. Kids are much smarter then we think sometimes and can clue in the best on what we are feeling and thinking! Thank you for letting me share in your family and this wonderful blog.

Post a Comment



Newer Post Older Post Home